SuperSearnold - Comic Book Reviews

Hullo hullo. My name is Searnold [Shár- Nŭhld] – welcome to my blog.

Soon to come - a review of Joss Whedon’s run on Astonishing X-Men. Today, I’m gonna do another dream blog today because I had a WEIRD dream last night. Enjoy the story!

Backstory. I have a friend. Let’s call him John. He recently met a girl who joined our D&D group (who’s a nerd? I’M a nerd! Thus the expertise in comic books.) Let’s call her Ally. Oddly enough, this girl went to high school with some of John’s college friends. And she goes to college (and lives across the street from) John’s best friend from high school, Richie. MORE odd – Richie’s roommates ALSO went to high school with Ally.
After much turmoil, John decided to ask Ally out. He was rejected. Now on with our story.

I don’t know where I was. It was some house. Not a real house. And apparently it belonged to Ally – but I’ve never been inside Ally’s house. A whole bunch of my friends and I were hanging out there. Like – untold fathoms of us. I couldn’t even name everyone who was there. What’s important is that John was there. And so was Ally.

So we were all just sort of chilling. There wasn’t any sort of organized activity going on. There were even a few people there I didn’t know (I’m sure they were friends with SOMEBODY who was there.) I went off looking for Ally (just to say ‘hi’ cause I hadn’t seen her in a while.) I walked into the OPEN bathroom, and there she was, taking a bath. I was drinking a Mountain Dew. A bit dumbfounded, all I could think to do was chug the Mountain Dew and avert my eyes to the window above the bathtub (which… oddly enough…. led directly back into the house. Not great placement for a window Mr. Subconscious Architect.) Here’s another weird thing. Ally’s body was being played by the part of another unrelated friend’s Norwegian cousin (whom I’ve only met once.)

So some time passes. I’m a bit vague on the details. Somehow I managed to get out of the bathroom and close the door. John was playing video games with some friends I didn’t know. I went to go watch, and Ally came up behind me wearing nothing but a white shirt that she put on before she bothered drying off. More awkward tension. I find that in this dream, my reaction was frequently to sit or stand still and be dumbfounded. What do you think – should that be my reaction more frequently in real life, too?

Ally suggests to dumbfounded me that I go check out Myspace. This confuses me, but I follow her to what I can only assume is her room, sit down on the bed next to her, and she hands me her laptop. I start to look at my Myspace (simply because she told me to) and she starts kissing my ear. Well you can guess what my reaction was, right? I sort of sat there dumbfounded. John was still within eyesight in the other room. And I don’t necessarily want to Ally to stop – for a bit more selfish reason than not wanting to hurt her feelings. So I sit there, looking at my Myspace, ignoring her completely in fear of reacting wrong.

Eventually, John and company all pile into my friend Robert’s car (I know it was his car because it’s small and blue – though I don’t recall Robert actually making an appearance at the party.) I’m fairly certain they were going to the video store. I’m not sure how I knew that. I use this as my excuse, “Oh, looks like it’s time to go.” Then Ally’s mother (whom I’ve never met in real life) comes in. She looks at us. And says, “Either all three of us have sex on this bed right now or it’s time to go.” Ally thought about for a moment before changing clothes. I started looking for my pants because they had my cell phone and wallet in them. (When did my pants come off? I don’t know. But they were by the front door on top of my shoes.)

Then Ally, her mother (who’s body was played by the part of my friend Richie’s – remember him? – landlord. Of course this didn’t phase me because I knew that her mom was Michelle Pfiefer. (Yeah – I have some pretty ODD dreams. Just imagine what my real life is like.) So we were driving away from the house. This was the first time I got a good look at it (as the dream started already inside it.) Let’s just say gigantic is too small a word to describe it. And right next to it – a GIANT pile of dirt that was apparently about to get turned into their neighbor’s house. Well on the drive, Ally’s mom (Michelle Pfiefer who looks JUST like my friend’s landlord) starts talking about how hard it is for her husband the fire man to make money. To be polite, I turn around to make eye contact while I’m listening to her. Wait a minute… she’s driving. Why am I sitting in front of her? Weird.

So then we get to our destination – at the EXACT same time as our other friends. What are the odds of timing that good? Apparently our other destination was another house. And standing outside it are a bunch of my friends from my Jr. High Youth group (whom, by the way, I haven’t seen any of in like 10 years.) I get out of the car and am like, “Dudes – what are you doing here?” And Stacey (one of the old friends) is like, “This is the house we have our meetings at.” I give them all a big hug, including the midget Siamese twin version of my friend Dopey’s parents. Then I got a phone call and woke up.

I STILL feel a little guilty towards John for not rejecting Ally’s advances.